Orientation
If you can find No. 23 “Swagatha” in Venkatachari Nagar you are a certified genius. There are five such No. 23s in a one square kilometre radius and none of the inhabitants know who lives in the other 23s. So, good luck finding the blue and white house near a big drain that cuts through Dollars colony.
What to bring
You don’t have to get anything at all – just cheer, humour and yourselves are all I’d like to see. I am kidding. Do make sure you get vegetarian food you care to eat. My cook makes only customized food that is sugarless, salt-less….and yeah, tasteless. If you get a treat for my dogs, you are on top my (and his) list of favourite people.
When to go
Any visits and phone calls after the holy hour of 9 pm are strictly discouraged. Winters are an exception. The time limit is 8pm. There is a siesta break on holidays between 2 and 5pm when visitors are not allowed.
Local customs
Shoes need to be left behind at the doorway. If it has rained, they need to be left behind at the gate. Banging shut the mesh door is frowned upon, as is refusing water that’s offered. These offences can easily be overlooked with gifts of dark chocolate (minimum 60% cocoa – sorry, Cadbury’s Bourneville does not qualify).
Health
If you are prone to catch colds, lung infections, stomach bugs, TB or colour TB, I’d advise you to stay away. If you have been vaccinated against rabies you are most welcome since I haven’t vaccinated my dog. Instead I ask everyone else to get vaccinated. You are also expected to wash hands frequently.
Society and culture
No. 23 boasts of a libertarian, left-leaning, right-centric, democratic form of government where my word is the law. That being said, the residents are equally keen to welcome people of all shapes, sizes and colour, as long as they are young and single. Admission of young couples is taken up on a case-by-case basis. Older couples are a strict no-no as they tend to disrespect the sanctity of wild and reckless behaviour. Taboo topics are cooking, marriage, and RSS.
Women travellers
No. 23 is a safe haven for women travellers. The surroundings may not reflect this safety but with five stray dogs around to protect your modesty, why fear?
Dangers and annoyances
The old grandfather from the diagonally opposite house who keeps asking for “madhuve oota” can be dangerously annoying. Strictly to be avoided either by bending to tie shoelaces or sprinting in the opposite direction. You also need to avoid me when there is a Federer match on and he is losing.
Volunteer organizations
There are plenty of volunteer opportunities for people interested in pet therapy. Our pets in the neighbourhood are quite stressed, what with all the pampering and over-eating, and need regular massages to prevent them from getting excited. Volunteer opportunities related to education are many as eager, impoverished children trudge through the gates of No. 23 often looking for tutors and food. I, personally, have spent many hours education them about the importance of sprouts in their daily diet.
Things to see and do
No. 23 provides vast opportunities to see the inner workings of a railway station up close. The stationmaster is a close friend who is ever willing to reply to queries on ticketing and fines. If you charm him, there is even a possibility of a ride in the steam engine of an express train. The extensive network of parks in adjoining Dollars colony is another impressive sight. To see the rich and famous leave behind their SUVs at the park entrance to walk presents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Why, I spotted the second cousin of the under-secretary to our former Chief Minister, Veerappa Moily once!
Places to eat
No. 23 does boast a wide range of cuisines to tickle your palate. Typical South Indian Iyengar meals from No.1, Kerala meals from No. 15 and Bengali sweets from the first floor of No. 45 have been tried, tested and certified as edible.
Night life
Occasional poker games with a two-week advance notice period have been held in No. 23 till the wee hours of morning. “Howl”arious nights with Seinfeld and Takeshi’s castle are also common when brothers are around.
Wildlife
Periplaneta Americana1, Lacerta agilis2, and Myrmica rubra3 are common and widely photographed here. For a unique experience, just let loose a few dogs in the house and you can enjoy a live viewing of predator vs. prey as they chase down mice.
Sports and outdoor activities
Ultimate frisbee is a hit among the young and old. I tend to hit people until they agree to fling the disc around.
Excursions
Red Volvo buses are available at regular intervals for travelling into the city. A day pass for Rs. 75, can take you all around town in air-conditioned comfort. I would strongly advise getting on to bus no. 201 for a quick tour of the city.
References
1 – Indian cockroach
2 – House lizard
3 – Red ant
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